my review of old dutch salt and vinegar kettle chips

the amount of vinegar in old dutch salt and vinegar kettle chips is cruel and inhumane. i cannot imagine the searing hot rage that would exist in someone who would just disregard all common sense and pH levels. it is an affront to your tastebuds. it is an affront to god himself. they exist for the sole purpose of making sure you can never taste anything but vinegar again. the subtle nuances of any dish you shall eat thereafter ruined like some barren cormac mccarthy hellscape. i love them. i want to eat them by the barrelful.

7/26/18

today while i was getting my daughter ready for bed she inexplicably clung to me and held me tight. she let out a soft whimper that seemed to let me know she just wanted to hold her dad tight. we stood there holding each other in silence and i thought about what a tender moment it was. then i thought about how when she grows older she won’t remember any of it. it choked me up. she looked concerned. i had to explain as best i could to her that her dad wasn’t hurt. they were “good tears.” after i put her to bed i contacted my parents. i told them what happened, how i felt and that i loved them. they, in turn, got choked up and told me they loved me. today marks the day the government was supposed to reunite all the children separated from their families at the border. they missed the deadline. there are still 700 kids alone and scared wondering where their parents are. the part of me that felt what i felt today wasn’t a “liberal” or a “democrat.” i felt what i felt because i am a dad. if these kids being separated from their families doesn’t cut you to your core. if it doesn’t make your stomach turn. if it doesn’t make you feel grief and rage (especially if you’re a parent)...well, there’s nothing i can do to convince you otherwise. there’s no stronger point i can make. there’s nothing i can say except may god have mercy on your rotten fucking soul.

resist

for anyone confused and saddened by the recent north korean/hitlerian undertones the headlines have taken allow me to clarify: we're living in a fascist state. this is no longer a democracy. i'm not a conspiracy theorist. i'm not a far leftist. this isn't even me talking. it's the dictionary. the most patriotic thing you can do right now is to resist this man. anybody who tells you otherwise...anybody who tells you it's unamerican...they're full of shit. that is not an alternative fact.

combat trump: read

there are many things we can do over the next four years to combat what is most certainly going to be a gruesome and dark period in this country. one of the most important: READ. seriously. the election of trump represents the death of a fundamental component of democracy: intellect. it has been stigmatized as something bourgeois and elitist and it is not. it's a wonderful thing that anyone can acquire. so whether you're an academic or a 9 to 5er read. read voraciously. and when the dust settles we'll be a better place for it. cus i love my country with all my heart and i know you do too. and we're not gonna let a bunch of misogynistic half-wit goons take it over.

post trump win thoughts

56,959,821 people feel a sex offender should be president. 56,959,821 people should know that my baby girl is the most important thing in the world to me. you touch her and i'll put you in the fucking ground. you can consider this a message from all us dads that were raised to respect women.

a walk with the missus

out taking a stroll with anna we got on the topic of cecilia's sleep schedule and how we both felt she sometimes doesn't take enough naps. midway through our conversation we passed a meth head which was in stark contrast to our pleasent walk on a sunny day. there were a few moments of silence. then anna turned to me and said "man, talk about not taking enough naps." love that woman.

the case for hillary

please read and please consider. only three times...3...in the nearly 160 year history of THE ATLANTIC have they endorsed a presidential candidate. they were in states of crisis/emergency. lincoln, johnson and now clinton. and the last time had some disturbing parallels to this one. trump is a legitimate threat to american democracy. a very real one. he's also a VASTLY different candidate than clinton. stop lumping them in the same category. it's naive, ill-informed and could easily destroy this country. http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/11/the-case-for-hillary-clinton-and-against-donald-trump/501161/