hot sauce update y'all

my hot sauce site's up and running!

go to badseedhotsauce.blogspot.com and get you some fiery deliciousness.

two for sale: beelzeburn® (habanero) and green steam® (jalapeno/serrano).

they're as tasty as my words.

i don't know what that means either. just order some.

hugs.

-lee kitzis

dreamboat

took the totally rad 80s boyfriend quiz on facebook.

got pablo escobar.

treat williams vs. tom berenger (a short play)

me: kitty wanna watch the substitute 2 with me? you wanna watch substitute 2? yeah, kitty wants to watch substitute 2.

cat (leaves the room)

END

hottened sauce

oh, i make and sell my own hot sauce now.

bad seed hot sauce company should be up and running within the next 1 1/2-2 weeks. keep your eyes peeled to badseedhotsauce.blogspot.com.

two flavors to start: a red habanero and a green jalapeno/serrano. both affordable, hot as all get out and delicious like a mofo. if you love me you'll tell all your friends and then buy a bunch and put it in your face. that's our slogan, actually. it's a working one.

-lee kitzis (ceo ((aka guy who makes hot sauce in his kitchen while listening to "like a boss")))

labor day

happy people-that-get-paid-a-shitty-ass-unlivable-wage-to-make-this-country-run day everyone!

on the cubs

believing in the cubs at this point is kinda like believing in santa clause. eventually you'll find out santa clause is a hateful alcoholic. and that he only exists in your imagination. unfortunately, being a sox fan is worse.

cream

just saw an ad for CREAM (the alcohol based whip cream). just call it what it is: professor fattington's give up fluff.

stimulating conversation

handyman: sorry i'm late to fix the buzzer. me: nah, it's alright man. i had the early shift. i've been drinking vodka all day. handyman: okay, well then...good day.

mixologist

invented a new drink: the fuckittini. just add 2 ounces of vodka before 8 hours of a crappy job.

food court

dear tater tot,

i reviewed your case file for falling on the floor. unfortunately, i feel inclined to direct you to the case of lee v. five second rule.

i sentence you to my mouth for a term of no more than 3 chews.

sincerely,

judge delicious