Sunday, September 18, 2011

hot sauce update y'all

my hot sauce site's up and running!

go to and get you some fiery deliciousness.

two for sale: beelzeburn® (habanero) and green steam® (jalapeno/serrano).

they're as tasty as my words.

i don't know what that means either. just order some.


-lee kitzis

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


took the totally rad 80s boyfriend quiz on facebook.

got pablo escobar.

Monday, September 12, 2011

treat williams vs. tom berenger (a short play)

me: kitty wanna watch the substitute 2 with me? you wanna watch substitute 2? yeah, kitty wants to watch substitute 2.

cat (leaves the room)


Tuesday, September 6, 2011

hottened sauce

oh, i make and sell my own hot sauce now.

bad seed hot sauce company should be up and running within the next 1 1/2-2 weeks. keep your eyes peeled to

two flavors to start: a red habanero and a green jalapeno/serrano. both affordable, hot as all get out and delicious like a mofo. if you love me you'll tell all your friends and then buy a bunch and put it in your face. that's our slogan, actually. it's a working one.

-lee kitzis (ceo ((aka guy who makes hot sauce in his kitchen while listening to "like a boss")))

Monday, September 5, 2011

labor day

happy people-that-get-paid-a-shitty-ass-unlivable-wage-to-make-this-country-run day everyone!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

on the cubs

believing in the cubs at this point is kinda like believing in santa clause. eventually you'll find out santa clause is a hateful alcoholic. and that he only exists in your imagination. unfortunately, being a sox fan is worse.

Saturday, April 30, 2011


just saw an ad for CREAM (the alcohol based whip cream). just call it what it is: professor fattington's give up fluff.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

stimulating conversation

handyman: sorry i'm late to fix the buzzer. me: nah, it's alright man. i had the early shift. i've been drinking vodka all day. handyman: okay, well then...good day.

Thursday, February 17, 2011


invented a new drink: the fuckittini. just add 2 ounces of vodka before 8 hours of a crappy job.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

food court

dear tater tot,

i reviewed your case file for falling on the floor. unfortunately, i feel inclined to direct you to the case of lee v. five second rule.

i sentence you to my mouth for a term of no more than 3 chews.


judge delicious